If you thought having your own personal pronouns, and imposing their use on others, was the epitome of narcissism, try this on for size:
Some people, with all or most all currently being women, are pursuing “self-marriage” so that they can “fully commit” to themselves.
What’s more, this phenomenon is established enough so that it even has a name: Sologamy (or “autogamy”). And while Wikipedia describes it as “marriage by a person to themself” — incorrectly using a combination of a plural and singular pronoun — no, engaging in the practice doesn’t require you to have multiple personalities, just singular self-focus.
American Thinker’s Laura J. Wellington wrote about the phenomenon last Thursday:
Sologamy is the practice of marrying yourself through a formal ceremony.
…You stand in front of the officiant by yourself, commit to love and cherish yourself before anyone else, and then enjoy a reception in the arms of your guests. The wedding night must be a hoot and the gift registry, full of cartons of batteries, I can only presume.
The goal of Sologamy is to solidify your commitment to “you” first. It’s derived from the utter nonsense that “only when you love yourself ahead of another, can you ever properly love another.” It’s a progressive ideology that confuses “dependency” with “weakness,” “marriage” with “bondage,” and “love” with “inequality.”
It invites perpetual loneliness upon these women, akin to a self-fulfilling prophecy. It reveals their naivety in truly understanding what marriage is all about. It contributes to the shrinking back of men from healthy male-female relationships. And it supports the destruction of the family.
It should be added that it isn’t just men “shrinking back” from marriage; it’s women, too. Moreover, this phenomenon is even more pronounced in some foreign nations. In Japan, approximately 25 percent of both men and women say they don’t want to marry; in South Korea, a majority of women say marriage is “not necessary.”
As for sologamy, some questions arise. If it doesn’t “work out,” do you formally divorce yourself? If you have kids, will their be alimony/palimony payments? After tying the knot, are you far more likely to support the GOP? (Single women generally vote Democratic; married women are more likely to lean Republican.)
Really, though, the issue is no laughing matter, as CNN illustrates. Reporting on sologamy earlier this year, the outlet opened with a real-life example, writing:
Brittany Rist walked down the aisle in a dress and a white veil to the song, “Girl.”
“Girl, perfectly her, broken and hurt,” crooned artist SMYL in a falsetto. “Shake off the night and don’t hide your face.”
It was Rist’s wedding. But there was no beaming partner waiting at the altar.
Wearing a rose-colored dress, the 34-year-old read her vows alone in front of a mirror in her backyard. She’d accepted her own proposal and given herself a ring. Instead of a spouse, a red velvet cake awaited her, next to a bottle of Champagne.
Rist said “I do” to herself, and committed to loving herself for better or worse.
“I vow to never settle or abandon myself in a romantic partnership ever again,” she told her reflection in the mirror. “I vow to honor my calling and live life as a work of art.”
There’s a good reason why the above exudes sadness. CNN mentions that just months before Rist’s “wedding,” she’d separated from “her son’s father after nine years together.” Note that the man isn’t described as her “husband,” which means they were never married. Rist also had no guests or officiant at her “wedding,” called it a “soul commitment ceremony,” and was in therapy. One could wonder, in fact, if her therapist recommended the move (CNN quotes a therapist who describes sologamy as a “healthy form of narcissism.”)
CNN interviewed a total of four “self-wedding” women, including a 77-year-old and an obese “body image coach” who spent $4,000 on a sologamy ceremony and had dozens of guests.
There are some interesting takeaways here. First, if marrying yourself helps you to “commit” to yourself, wouldn’t marrying another help you to commit to that person? This puts the lie to the claim, used to attack marriage, that it’s “just a piece of paper.” In fact, notable here is that the tradition-destroyers claim to value every conception of marriage (e.g., the same-sex pseudo-version) except the real McCoy.
Second, this also helps explain why many women are so unhappy today. As The Good Men Project relates, “‘Throughout America’s history, the start of adult life for women — whatever else it might have been destined to include — had been typically marked by marriage,’ Rebecca Traister writes in her new book, All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation. ‘Since the late 19th century, the median age of first marriage for women had fluctuated between 20 and 22. This had been the shape, pattern and definition of female life.’”
But now, the site adds, the probability of under-30 women being married is strikingly small.
Does this help explain why women in general, and single women in particular, have such high rates of “mental illness”?
As a rule, women have an innate desire to deeply bond with a man and satisfy their maternal instinct. Problems will inevitably result when this yearning goes unfulfilled.
Also concerning happiness, I believe it was Aristotle who said that a prerequisite for it is living a moral life. This makes sense: Just as people of good judgment like others more when they’re moral and not reprobates, we like ourselves more when we’re moral, too. Yet how often is virtue striven for in today’s sin-exalting society?
And is sologamy going to solve any of these problems? After all, if you haven’t purged uncleanness from your soul, it just may mean that you’re marrying the wrong person.
