As Cupid’s favorite day draws near
It’s time to give full-throated cheer
Not just to all the gals and guys
With whom we share our love (and fries)
But also to those other things
That buoy the soul like water wings.
Things so everyday-ish they
Get overlooked. But not today!
Today we frankly celebrate
The stuff we overlook that’s great.
Stuff like sponges when they’re new
That don’t yet smell like old fondue
Made in someone’s sweaty shoe
(That make your hands smell like it, too.)
To all ye sponges not yet gross:
A toast to virgin cellulose!
And let us also give full props
To all our favorite dollar shops
Filled with cards, and cans of fish,
And puzzle books, and licorice,
And napkins and the spatulas
You find in homes of batchulas
Plus the toys worth more than gold
To anyone who’s 4 years old.
We may be down, but at those stores
We’re living like Louis Quatorze!
Time now, to also offer thanks
To a thigh’s best friend: her Spanx.
And while we’re at it, let’s thank, too,
Whoever gave us super glue
And its cousin, twice removed
The Post-it note. Can’t be improved.
And Ziploc bags — we love you, natch.
And toothpicks with the floss attached.
Also getting thanks, muchachas?
Small motels for cucarachas.
On this day of love and hearts
We hail the happy Pop of Tarts
Whether frosted or just plain
They fill the role of pink Champagne
To kids whose lives are one long wait
Between the Pop-Tarts that they ate.
(And some of us at 63
May share that same affinity.)
Finally, let us kiss through air
That humble thing we call The Chair
The seat of pow’r! The people’s throne!
Allowing us to work, un-prone.
Whether hard or downright mushy
Thanks from our collective tushy.
You daily items, full of grace
Make our world a better place.
Plastic, frosted, sticky, plain,
Cheap or crunchy, cute, mundane
To you we say: “I’m glad you’re mine!
Will you please be my Valentine?”
Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a contributing writer at Reason.com, and author of Has the World Gone Skenazy? To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.
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