Fists of Furry
Michelle Malkin

Don’t believe the pervert media. Reuters, NBC News, entertainer John Oliver and Denver 9News zealot Kyle Clark all want you to believe that parents nationwide are simply imagining an infestation of “furries” (children dressing up and identifying as animals) in their public schools. The gaslighting campaign is so toxically incandescent that you can see the glow from a SpaceX rocket.

Let me assure you: You are not crazy. They are.

First, let’s review the headlines over the past week.

Here’s Reuters on Oct. 18: “Fact Check — No evidence of schools accommodating ‘furries’ with litter boxes.”

Here’s NBC News on Oct. 14 in a piece by a whopping four-reporter “misinformation” police squad: “How an urban myth about litter boxes in schools became a GOP talking point.”

Over the weekend, comedian John Oliver dismissed the parental sound and fury over furries as “humiliating nonsense” and mocked conservative state legislators as “heartbreakingly stupid” for amplifying constituents’ concerns.

Denver 9News conservative-bashing zealot Kyle Clark two weeks ago purported to debunk the furry frenzy by simply regurgitating several Colorado school districts’ blanket denials, including Jefferson County, which told the news station: “There is absolutely no truth to this claim. There are no litter boxes in our buildings and students are not allowed to come to school in costume.”

That deceitful stock answer was authored by communications executive director Kimberly Enloe; shared with district leaders for “awareness and alignment” (translation: marching orders and echo chamber formation); and sent to multiple news outlets inquiring about the anthropomorphic animal contagion. 9News executive producer Nathan Higgins revealed his intentions to neuter the controversy when he accused parents of spreading a “conspiracy theory” in his inquiry to the Jeffco schools’ PR team seeking any “substantiated or specific instances or claims of furries in schools.”

Here is the whole truth, which the pervert media labels “misinformation” because truly informed nuclear families threaten The Great Parental Replacement agenda:

A vigilant group of parents and kids in Jefferson County have been hounding school officials about the bizarre presence of “furries” in Colorado middle schools and high schools since February 2022. This is not a “GOP talking point” or an election-season ploy. This is not a joke or satire. It’s real, it’s disruptive, and it’s sick. Lindsay Datko and a team of eight citizen activists with Jeffco Kids First file Colorado Open Records Act requests to expose the lies and secrets driving wedges between parents and their children — not just on curriculum indoctrination, but on all matters pertaining to family autonomy, health and safety.

“We leave no stone unturned,” Datko told me. And that’s why the pervert media and their fellow travelers believe she and her group must be smeared and destroyed.

On Oct. 13, the county school district’s records custodian coughed up a 36-page document filled with emails between parents, school officials and other parties chronicling the need for costumed critter control. I obtained and verified the hair-raising trove. Back in February, a parent had informed JeffCo’s “chief student success officer” Matt Palaoro about rabid furries at Wayne Carle Middle School who wore “cat/dog ears, tails, fur gloves, collars, and leashes” while threatening peers who objected. The parent’s son reported that the costumed students would “hiss, bark, scratch, and meow” at students who objected to the behavior.

Another child reported that the herd of furries would “walk on all 4s in the hallway” and “also eat with their face in their food.”

Back in March, parents at Drake Middle School in Jeffco met with principal Melinda Feir to alert her of the classroom disruptions caused by the human pet parade. In April, another parent reported furry sightings at Dakota Ridge High School. In August, Drake Middle School updated its dress code specifically to ban animal ears and tails. (The public records show that litter boxes were never mentioned; it was Datko’s group that discovered they were being used during lockdowns.)

Despite the long electronic trail of complaints and alarms, left-wing activist and Colorado Times Recorder propagandist Heidi Beedle slammed GOP gubernatorial candidate Heidi Ganahl in a hit piece titled “Ganahl Falsely Claims that Kids Are ‘Identifying as Cats … All Over Colorado & Schools Are Tolerating It.'” What Beedle and the publication fail to disclose is that Beedle is — not making this up — an apologist for furries who penned a 2,000-plus word celebration of the “oft-misunderstood community” in 2018 for the Colorado Springs Independent. She highlighted a 16-year-old “wolfdog” named “Avedis” whose parents drive him to “all-ages meetups” and quoted “Chip,” a “DenFur” convention staffer who explained that “(w)hile furry is not an exclusively LGBTQ phenomenon, it skews pretty gay due to its obvious LGBTQ appeal.”

“Furry allows you to try out different identities,” the wolfman told Beedle. “If you’re not sure if you’re gay, you can roleplay as a gay character. If you’re not sure if you’re trans, you can roleplay as a different gender. Furry allows you to experiment.”

Rolling Stone chronicled the spread of this “long-misunderstood subculture” (gee, that sounds familiar) to young TikTok viewers in 2019. Dr. Cynthia Morton, a high school counselor, blogged on “Making a Safe Place for Students Who Identify as Furries, Therians, and Otherkins” back in 2018. Now that parents are blowing the whistle on this filthy infiltration, gaslighters pretend we’re the ones with mental illness and demand that families doxx their own children instead of holding public safety menaces in the schools accountable for their “diversity” perversity.

Never forget: You are not crazy. They are.

Michelle Malkin’s email address is [email protected]. To find out more about Michelle Malkin and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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